Remembering Mom

A Green Thumb

htallon — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 20:42:54 +0000

Mom always had a way with plants … more outside than inside though ! she truly loved to look at a piece of land and figure out what type of plan would work best! No matter where we lived, one of the first things mom would do would be to start her landscaping and make the place our own. Eventually, mom even worked at a nursery (in VA Beach) and then she and Ash had a landscaping business when they first moved to the mountains of NC. I’m not sure if her love for landscaping is what influenced one of our good friends, David, to open a nursery or not (once he decided law was not for him), but it could be.

Here is one of her prize bushes / trees … something we called the “crooked bush”. Erin used some of the branches at her wedding for a beautiful centerpiece and for people to tie “wishes” for her / Ed on.

Detailed inside view

Mom passed her green thumb down to all of us … Erin with her flowers, Kevin with whatever he puts his mind to (amazing what he does with 1/5 of an acre) – including succulents / cactus and me with both my inside and outside focus. Although to be honest, I think Kevin is the true master in mom’s image.

Faith

htallon — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 00:12:13 +0000

Its been an interesting week or so … a good friend of mine at work was in a motorcycle accident and is not going to make it (brain injury) and now I just discovered that a friend’s dad here at home in the mountains is probably going to pass in the next day or so. It’s during times like this that “faith” can be so important.

Mom had tremendous faith and a belief in a higher power. The interesting part – and gift in my view – is that she just didn’t believe in one religion. While we were raised Lutheran (the Missouri branch) … mom loved exploring different religious and understanding them. We would often talk about them – and discover unique aspects and what made these beliefs come to life for the people who believed in them.

What is important (for me) is not what religion a person has. What is important is that you have faith – whatever faith that is. Faith can bring comfort during these times – and in the future as you learn to live without your loved one. I think mom for bringing these lessons home to us and to keeping an open mind as we continue to explore faith throughout our lives.

Taking a “poca”

htallon — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 21:40:20 +0000

Just a quick post today … a funny, but short story. I took a quick nap today and that made me remember mom and her “poca’s”. Mom was always a great one for taking a “poca” … her term for taking a “nap”. Other than her smoking and being with her goats, it might have been her next most favorite thing to do. Any time of the day worked for her … morning or afternoon. One time, I think it was sometime in the fall – we were both talking in the living room. We weren’t really tired – but mom wanted to try to take a poca – an hour and 40 minutes later, we both woke up! We think that was a record! so – if you’re a bit tired, try taking a quick poca!

A Navy Retirement

htallon — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:11:14 +0000

On Friday, July 17th, my brother – Operations Specialist and Senior Chief Kevin Thomas Tallon retired from the Navy after 25 successful years. While mom was not there in person, I know she was there in spirit. It was a wonderful day – full of Navy tradition that allowed all of us to catch a glimpse of my brother’s career in the Navy.

One of the traditions is the flag ceremony – where the flag is passed from person to person, each doing a very slow salute and then receiving the flag, twirling around to the next person and so on.

Flag Ceremony

Here is a picture of Kevin getting ready to receive the flag – which he then gave to Dad (flag was a special one that had flown on a specific ship).

Kevn saluting before he receives the flag

My brother has this amazing ability to speak very eloquently off the top of his head! During his time at the podium, he talked about the people who were there – and their importance to his career. Kevin honored Captain Peter Lintner as being a strong mentor during his time on the San Jacinto. The advice he gave Kevin to “if you speak the word, to be the word”. There was more to it than that – but the message as to mean what you say and to stand by it. Captain Lintner in turn had honored Kevin as one of those folks who was willing to cross the “aisle” and who was a strong leader – who cared deeply for his men.

Kevin honored all of us as his “hero’s” – and the reason he could serve and serve well. His words brought tears to many of us – honoring all of his family and what they meant to him (they included a lovely photo and tribute to mom in the program). He closed by proposing for the 2nd time to Peggy … asking her to be with him for another 20+ years:

I am so very proud of my brother and Peggy – they have a beautiful and strong marriage and 2 wonderful kids. They have both come so far since they started this journey 20+ years ago and I can’t wait to see what the next years bring.

A Quiet Dignity

htallon — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:40:42 +0000

Mom was never one to complain about much in life – including her health. She always had this quiet dignity about her, handling most everything with grace and courage. This is something that I greatly admired in her and that I see in my Aunt as she gracefully handles her own health challenges. Is this something that they were taught by Gram? or something that they both just inherited from our polish side of the family?

Some examples of her dignity in life include:

horse shows – taking each show as it came, learning and growing from each (even if there were some painful political lessons)
horse farm – working to grow the business and dealing with challenging clients who boarded their horses
divorce – working to make sure us kids knew we were loved and supporting us while she dealt with her own thoughts
building the angora goat business – starting from the ground up, building her own business and then helping others build their own; continually sharing her knowledge wherever she could
her health – never complaining about what she could or could not do; just taking life as it came and making the most of it

I hope that I can emulate this same approach as I go through my own life – mom was a great example to follow!

Alternative Health Care

htallon — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:52:12 +0000

I’m not sure when mom started to explore alternative approaches to health care. But I do recall her exploring different options starting in the early 80s when she lived in VA Beach. Edgar Cayce was quite big there – she even visiting his center in VA Beach. However, it probably truly began when she moved to the mountains of NC where she discovered Kinesiology – something that has been critical to my overall health for many years. Twice I have been sick and convential medicine couldn’t solve it … but kinesiology did.

The “Applied Kinesiology, AK” was founded in 1964 by the American chiropractor George Goodheart and are now used by chiropractors, osteopaths, medical doctors, dentists and others with a license to diagnose. Dr. George Goodheart found that evaluation of normal and abnormal body function could be accomplished by using muscle tests. Since the original discovery, the principle has broadened to include evaluation of the nervous, vascular, and lymphatic systems, nutrition, acupuncture, and cerebrospinal fluid function.

For us, it was a wonderful way to balance regular health care – but take a more proactive approach to our health, by keeping our bodies balanced. Kinesiology also helps take the guess work out of supplements – since the doctor can check to see what supplements work best with your body.

Late in life, mom discovered acupuncture. What a wonderful addition to kinesiology! It did wonders for mom during her last few months – and continues to help both Ash and I. While kinesiology is more about accupressure and muscle based movements, this is more about energy flows and going to the source to rebalance your body. This was a great help to me recently in healing a golf injury.

I am so glad that mom kept this open mind to alternative options – and introduced them to her family.

Missing Mom

htallon — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 23:05:45 +0000

Letter to Mom: While its been a little over a year and a half since you passed away, it’s still a bit hard to believe that you’re not hear with me. I think of you every day and while I know that you’re in a better place, it is difficult not being able to talk with you. Whether it was talking about “nothing” with you “every day or calling to ask your opinion – you always listened with such an open heart and I could talk to you about anything and everything. You always offered your support / guidance – but never judged me one way or the other regardless of my decisions. Most of all I miss being able to talk with you about life experiences – things I’m reading, challenges at work, watching our favorite shows (like Dancing with the Stars … our 3 way conversations were really the best) and just experiencing life. This unlimited calling of the last few years really spoiled us!

While I was prepared for you to pass – I was not prepared for what that meant life would be like without you. and I had quite a bit of anger last year over it. While I’m over the anger, I’m still figuring out how to fill that “hole” of who I can talk to. While family is wonderful, they still are not you. However, I’m lucky to have Aunt Jean, Erin, and Jenny – as well as wonderful friends to try and help fill that void.

love you best and most and more …

A Speech to Remember

htallon — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 20:43:44 +0000

I’ve always loved to speak in public … getting up in front of an audience was pretty easy for me. However, it was mom who really encouraged and helped me to develop this gift. The most significant event was my high school graduation – where I was lucky enough to be valedictorian. Mom worked with me to hone and to develop this speech – until it was net, succinct and to the point. Then she worked with me to practice the delivery – to get it down to an art. The goal – to reach for the stars and to make this a night to remember. I will never forget her encouragement and help to make this a success!

Here is that speech … and as I type / read this – I can still remember how each word was read and the cadence of the speech.

Students, parents, teachers and friends:

It is a time to acknowledge what good fortune has led us to this evening. We have enjoyed the miraculous circumstance to have the love, respect, support and direction of true families, good friends, and excellent academic opportunity. The strength of those blessings will continue to shape our character and growth as long as we live. With this support, we can look forward to our exciting, over-whelming, multi-dimensional world with confidence.

Along with every individual goal each of us might have tonight, I endorse a renewed commitment for personal growth. With each academic advancement, every material objective, may we also dedicate ourselves to understanding the humanness of humanity and welcome every agony of growth as well as the rewards.

Look at this moment … concentrate on your life and breath. You will never know any of this again. The beauty of uncertainty surrounds us. Regard the world quietly and in peace. Never before have we been so radiant! The challenge of choice confronts us. The freedom to choose. Along with the freedom, the responsibility of emerging independence. The purpose and objectives of our lives have hardly been touched. The possibility for splendid brilliance is within our reach.

Where are we going from here? and how far? We ask ourselves and others ask us. Our answer: “As far as we want to , as far as is needed. We will learn by going where we have to go and some day, may we all be able to say – finally, at last, I am myself”.

Thank you.

The Art of Naming

htallon — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 23:03:07 +0000

Mom had this amazing knack for coming up with the best names for our animals. I’ve already written about Nickle Ride … a horse named because when we got him, you wouldn’t give a nickle to ride him !

One of the first clever names mom came up with (that I can recall at least) was our doberman, Poor Tragedy. I know she was named due to some tragic event, but only being 6 or 7, I don’t recall that event. She was one of the sweetest dogs we ever had and wouldn’t harm anyone. I have to digress here to tell a funny story … one day, mom decided to pick up a hitch hiker (not something she did normally), but she had Tragedy in the car with her. She told the guy not to move muscle (Tragedy was sitting in the front seat between his legs) or the dog would get him. however, about 10 minutes into the ride, poor Tragedy threw up all over the guy.

Another clever horse name was “Berry Frost”, named after some sweet wine mom used to drink. She was a wonderful small pony that Erin rode to many championships (flat seat).

One Eyed Jack was Erin’s Olde English Bulldogge … a wonderful character of a dog, just so much personality that he won best in show at a large dog show here in Raleigh.

Where mom really shone though was later in life with the Anatolian Shepherd dogs that she and Erin raised. Anatolian Shepherd dogs are guardian dogs from Turkey and they used them to guard their Angora / Boer goats. The first one was named Sabu … with a male named Raj. But the fun came in naming their offspring. Here are some of these terrific registered names:

Snake Eyes, Double or Nothing
Taking a Chance
I’m a Party Girl
She’s My Lady Luck
Repeat Offender
Rumour Has It

I wish I had inherited this ability to creatively name my pets. I did do pretty well with one of my ragdall cats (Standing Ovation) … but I don’t quite have mom’s gift!

A Rose in her Teeth!

htallon — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 16:37:27 +0000

In order to preserve my pictures and to save space, I moved many of my old photos from photo albums into a large photo box a couple of years ago. It was so much fun to look through these years of memories.

As I was looking through these photos – deciding which ones to keep or not, one interesting photo kept showing up over and over and over! This was a picture of mom with a rose in her teeth! I am not sure what movie this was from, Aunt Jean will remember I’m sure. Every wedding that we went attended, mom would find a rose (or whatever flower was available) and off we’d go, dancing to some song with a rose in our teeth. Not only did she encourage myself to join – but many times my Uncle Charles would join in as well (he and my Aunt Judy came to every family wedding – even tho they lived in the NE, far away from MI).

Mom at Jene/Dory's Wedding

This is one tradition that we’ll certainly keep going forward!